Benztown & Friends

great to see you again and for sharing...you are the best friends I could hope for! Thanks a lot!

Hope and Sorrow

Hello everybody!

This is already day 12 after arriving back in Germany. A very intense time and everything changed…again. Not easy right now, even more difficult than I already expected it to be. First a wall great so see my friends and see familiar places. The sun is shining – I would say it`s the best time to be here in Stuttgart and spend time in all the parks and green areas all over the city.
But…
I don`t feel at home here anymore. It will always be a place where I will come back with pleasure, whenever I can. But it`s not my life anymore. Well, my relation to this town was never such easy. There are a lot of bad memories connected with this city, but for sure also great memories. I juast spend already more than 15 years here and it feels that I need to make a move. I cannot imagine to settle down here – at least right now.
To have great ideas is one thing - making them true another. I am still wondering what to do. But I decided to write the next weeks a lot, to focus myself to make parts of my book ready and also create some stories I could send to Newspapers, (Travel) Magazines, Internet Platforms etc.
At the end of the day I am more a writer than anything else. And it`s time to make some final steps towards a detailed report about my journey with backflashs into my past. This is what I am workin on already a long time and the time to make a bi step is right now. That might help me also not to forget how phantastic the last three months in Southeastasia have been… Also I gave a promise. And I am serious about that. I don`t want to wait until I am thirty. At that point it need to be ready.
And yes I want to find a way to continue writing on my next journey, even if it`s very uncertain right now, when I will be able to go and where.
I still try to find ways to place my pictures and the slide shows but I need to focus on one thing now…writing.
I feel not very good right now (to say it very nicely). I feel very strange and know there is no way back to my former life. That might be a little scary but I wanted to change my live…and I did. And I feel the old feelins calling my back to a life I don`t want to lead anymore. I would even say that`s impossible.
As you mkight have seen already, I created a FB-Fanpage. That should make the contact easier and there is place for any kind of idea…check the Info Page!
Natali is right now in China on another short but crazy exhausting Buisiness-Trip. And it`s not easy at all for her. As I am struggling with having no structure and don`t know what will happen the next months, for her is opposite. She need to work all the time, there is no space for reflection, for taking a breath and getting peace to think again about all what happened with us.
Whatever she will decide… I will not be angry in any way. She need to make a decision for herself first. So many people on this earth, who don`t believe in love and feel responsible to tell people, who are trying to make it possible. That’s the only thin that makes my very sad. Love is everything to heal our souls and to act in a nice way.
Not easy to have any patience right now as my feelings are so intense and sometimes hard to stand. But whatever she choose – she will always be in my heart. Love is a gift and I don`t take it back. I have no expectations anymore – but I didn`t gave up. Why should I – we both have been sure it will not be easy. I made my choice and nothing can change it. Everything else is just private. I just wanted to give a little insight.
My live keeps being challenging and it`s not easy right now. But still better to live intense and fall down from time to time, instead not to try everything to live to the fullest.
Greetings to everybody, who is with me… Thank you!!!

Yours,

Mr. Coconutyoga

Home

Part I: End of the road – Munich to Stuttgart

Hello everybody!

I am right now on the last step of this long and crazy but also often nice journey back home. I still cannot believe it. I see Germany outside but I almost don`t recognize it. I feel absolutely like a stranger. But this will change and I am looking forward to see all my friends again. One friend – Christoph, who shared with my 3 weeks in Thailand and one in Laos - even offered me to stay in his flat for two months without paying… Phantastic. I can really tell myself a lucky bastard right now… Why not? It hasn`t been always like this – to say it in a nice way ;-) That gives me a lot of space for developing my ideas. I now this will be tough. It`s one thing to have great ideas another one to make them true. I have my doubts for sure but I am not afraid. Or let`s say not to much.
The last night I stayed in Munich at Boris Place, my friend I know from Goa. That was great. In around two hours I will see Benztown again. I am excited what kind of feelings are awaiting me there this time. The first stopover I felt like I lost my home, the second one I felt like settling down again and now? Let`s see…
Tomorrow I will have a little Party at another friends place and I am looking forward to it. I hope I have still some energy left then.
I feel like travelling since 6 days even when I had a short stop in Siem Raep, Bangkok and now Munich. But I am really happy when its over very soon. And my day in Angkor and Siem Raep with Mr. T was nice but not a real break. In Bangkok the same, because of the New Year Celebration. Crazy, I can tell you. I haven`t seen anything like this ever. So many people, Water from all sides, Techno Beats, colors, Joy and Madness. Glad, that I have seen that, even when it made it almost impossible to get the things, I wanted to buy there. But all good.
(…)

Part II: back in Benztown: a stranger in a familiar area

Well. Now I am already back in Stuttgart since a few days. So many intense feelings. First I went to my good friend Christoph and the joy was big. I stayed some hours before I went to visit another very good friends. Turned out he is in big big trouble. It might be even a question about life and death… Can`t put any more details but I was shocked, even if it doesn`t surprised me that much. We talked a lot and I spend finally the night there.
The next day I got the key of my best friend and his girlfriend to prepare the party, I already planned in Cambodia. I thaught it would be better to have this party as soon as possible this time. I was quite tired and jetlagged but also looking forward to see all these good people. It hasn`t been such a big crowd, but the right people have been there. For sure some people have been missing but it was all right. I enjoyed a lot to see my friends and share same stories. For sure it wasn`t possible to talk to everyone like I wanted to. But it was just a start.
Thanks to Martino, Arthur, Dieter, Sarah & Cedric, Tamara & Kai, Daniel, Markus, Anne, Christoph, Gilad and Sebbe!!! You made it easier to reach here.
But still I am not fully here. No wonder after this crazy long journey including jetlag. And the month before was great but also very very intense. And what a culture gap again. The people look again, if I was falling from the sky…and they aren`t that wrong 
The time difference to Argentina isn`t anymore crazy 10 hours but still 5. That`s a real challenge. I miss Natali like crazy but we both try to focus on our things to see again as soon as possible!
My feelings are a rollercoaster right now and for sure I am afraid. But I try everything to transform this tension into energy, but it`s still a way. Ideas for the next time will follow soon.
The day after we went like old tradition to see the soccer match of the local soccer club, what ended in the city like always. Another long day after a few hours of sleep.
Yesterday I was just crushed and tried to recover. But sleeping is not the easiest thing right now.
I feel still like a stranger and it will need some time to reach the bottom.
I am struggeling right now but I am not blaming anybody for it. Would be stupid!
Thank you one more time for being interested in my life and my special way I am choosing all the time. I love you!!! You make it doable, how difficult it will be. I am looking forward to see you all again. Stay true out there and news are following soon!!!

Much love from Mr. Coconutyoga

Goodbye Asia / see you soon again!

Just a short message at that time. Will write some more after arriving in Germany. But could take some days. Right now i am in bangkok and will head to bed very soon. The New Year Celebration today was nice but also exhausting, especially after arriving here just yesterday evening after a full day drive from Siem Raep. I stayed there only one last day to say thank you for all the phantastice things that started there. I took a overnight bus from Shinouville to Siem Raep before. I feel like beeing on the road already since a week and will be very happy when I am finally arrived!
Great things are waiting. The Love for Natali I feel make the colors in my life. What a strange journey back, still with wonderful moments. I am so filled with feelings and experience and its continuing all the time. Time for a break now to take a new breath for new roads...
Good bye Asia, see you soon.
Coconutyoga Travels continues!

Stay true and all the best. Bless you!!!